


Headed Nowhere, USA

by ROTwhyler (orphan_account)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Game, Alternate Universe - Pet Store, Humanstuck, Other, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 17:06:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12063369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/ROTwhyler
Summary: A work-in-progress, Slice of Life AU which features Jade Harley as the main character. She's just moved to a small town in Minnesota, where she has no plans and no direction for her life. All she has is her apartment, her dog, and the pet store she's newly been hired at. There she meets an angry young man who seems to fight life with all the strength he has, a young woman in a dead-end relationship who struggles to keep afloat in life, and a woman her own age who, despite being riddled with familial and emotional issues, manages to bring out the best in everything. The only thing they all have in common is that none of them are going anywhere anytime soon.





	Headed Nowhere, USA

**Author's Note:**

> *Blows the dust off of this account*
> 
> Long time no see, AO3. With the oncoming release of Hiveswap, my love for Homestuck has been newly awakened. This fic has been a long time coming, and while I have no idea how long it's going to end up being, I don't plan on making it longer than a few chapter, not including this one. Think of this one as an...introduction! Mostly it was to get my creative juices flowing and so I could get a feel for the characters. If this goes over well, you guys can expect another chapter!

With fervor, I press the tip of my finger against the glass. Two centimeters away from my flesh is a very angry scorpion. It frustratedly slams the tip of its tail into the barrier, and I give a meek smile at the _‘click, clack, thunk’_ sounds it creates. Poor little guy, all cooped up in this tiny display case...someone will adopt you soon!

“Ahem.”

My face flushes as I turn around towards the source of the noise to find my new manager inspecting me. Judgmentally and with hand on hip, she snorts and beckons me to follow her. I suppose egging on angry arachnids isn’t the best first impression I could’ve made, but oh well. She leads me into the back office, and once I’ve sat down and settled, it’s uncomfortably noticeable that she hasn’t said a word and still happens to be staring at me. I wait. And I wait. And once I even switch which of my legs is crossed over the other, but still nothing from her. Okaaay…

“Um, hel -”

“Jade Harley!” She interrupts me defiantly. Was she...waiting all this time just to do that? “Jade Harley, Jade Harley, Jade Harley…” She shakes her head and chuckles mockingly.

“Uh, ye - ?”

“Jaaaaaaaade Harley.” Another small, dramatic silence. “So you’re the new worker, huh?” Instead of risking another verbal power grab, I simply nod and look up at her. “Well considering you have no experience, I have absolutely no idea why my boss hired you, but nevermind that! My boss says I’m your boss, so you do what I say now.” I’m unimpressed with her army-like strictness, but the bit is amusing so I just crack a small smile and experience it. “And I say -” she stops in the middle of the sentence and turns on what is obviously the intercom, indicated by the crackling of it coming to life, and yells, “ _Karkat, get in here!_ ” 

Almost from the get-go I could hear the bitching. And like an annoying version of the Jaws theme song, it only got closer, and I awaited on the edge of my seat to see what awful thing could be spewing such childish bullshit.

“And oh yes please interrupt me again royal highness bitchass I was only cleaning up the spilled bag of enclosure wood chips that you not only fucking ordered me to clean up three damn hours ago but successfully interrupted me every time I upped and fucking danced my happy jester-ass over there to do as I’m probably, with my luck, destined to do for the rest of my fucking life and YES Vriska, what could it possibly be now?”

He makes his grand entrance with a cartoonish gesture, as if he’s a happy servant waiting to be told what to do. Vriska put a hand over her mouth and snickered at his unhappiness, which caused him to resume what I can only assume is his natural state - hunched over and staring ahead with tired, disinterested eyes and a frown plastered onto his mouth.

“This, Jade, is our resident employee of the month, Mister Karkat Vantas. He’ll be training you for the next week, and please, feel free to give him a very, very hard time.” Her grin earned the title shit-eating, and I turned to Karkat, who was grimacing and clearly uncomfortable with the idea. We make eye contact and he rolls his eyes before speaking,

“I’m not actually employee of the month. She just likes saying that because she knows how much I hate sounding like I actually give a shit about this job.”

This entire time I haven’t had a chance to speak, but the two of them seem to be locked in some sort of battle now. The tension is heavy, so I decide observing is the best thing to do right now.

“Oh, you know you do!”

“Do not!”

“Do too!”

“I really fucking don’t, Serket!”

“Do toooooooo - !”

Suddenly, a fourth person appears at the door of the office. She dons the same uniform that Karkat and Vriska are wearing and is knocking on the door just loud enough to be heard. The other two shut up, and all three of us turn our heads towards her.

“Yes, Feferi?” Asks Vriska.

“Um. I need a second cashier, it’s getting sort of busy out there...What about the new girl?” She perks up and points towards me. Now this time the three of them are staring at me, and I stare back while tucking a bit of my hair behind my ear.

“Feferi would do a hell of a lot better than me at training someone.” Karkat adds and watches hopefully while Vriska considers it.

“That’s true...but! What say you, Jade?” Now the spotlight is definitely on me. For the first time in the last 15 minutes I’ve been given a platform to speak! Should I say something witty to show them I might be new but I can be saucy? Or maybe I should be funny, so they feel comfortable around me! Crap, this is hard. Still, I stand up and clear my throat…

“Oh, sure um, totally! I can do that.”


End file.
